I have seen it attributed to various faith communities, that one’s words should pass a three prong test:

1) Is what is to be expressed reasonably certain to be true?
2) Is what is to be expressed kind?
3) Is what is to be expressed helpful?

A proposed statement that fails on any of these is better to remain unexpressed.

Best regards, wishes and prayers-

David

One incident stands out when I learned to lie: I interviewed to be an RA in college. They asked me how I would deal with a certain situation and I was honest, saying, “I don’t know, it seems like it would be hard, but here’s what I try to do…” I didn’t get the RA job, and the housing association had a post-interview session for all the people who had been turned down from the job. In the post-interview session, they told the whole group not to say anything negative in an interview. But after I heard this I started hiding myself more and more, until I realized I would lie without even meaning too any more.

So now I’m trying to be honest at all times, because for me it was a slippery slope. Also, I really respect the Christians I know who are honest, even refusing to tell “white” lies, but they make it work and manage not to hurt people’s feelings. I’m inspired by them.

I had always made up excuses to go over a friend’s house when I knew one of his friends would be there. I didn’t like this friend of his. No one in our group wanted to tell him. A few times we went there and unfortunately we were stuck with her being there and dealing with her. It wasn’t pleasant. Finally I told him directly that I just didn’t like her and told him to tell me when she was invited and I wouldn’t go. It worked out well. I explained to him that not everyone likes everyone. So now we all go over to his house and have a very nice, peaceful and quiet visit without her being there. In this case honesty worked.