Introduction:
Few of us are ever faced with making the sort of life or death decisions we routinely hear about in the news. And yet there are decisions we face everyday that—whether we realize it or not—have very real moral implications.
Part trivia game and part reality show, BustedHalo’s Moral Dilemmas feature is intended not only to raise moral issues for our readers but also to ask you to participate in resolving them. After reading the story below about Vincent and Erin please tell us what the “right thing to do” is via the quiz at the bottom. Next week we’ll offer a “wrinkle” to the dilemma and ask your opinion once again. Finally, we will have our own moral theologian weigh in with some analysis of the dilemma and your responses.
Vincent and Erin met and started dating while at a small junior college not far from where they both grew up in Wisconsin. After two years, Vincent went on to complete his undergraduate studies at another local school and Erin finished up her degree at night while working full-time as a legal secretary at a well-established Milwaukee law firm.
They got married shortly after Vincent graduated. After their wedding, Erin helped get Vincent a job as a paralegal at the firm where she worked. Milwaukee seemed enormous and exciting compared to the small towns they had both grown up in and Vincent thought working with lawyers was a much better career than the manufacturing plants where his family and friends had always worked.
Soon after he started the job Vincent decided he wanted to be a lawyer and studied hard for the LSATs. He was accepted into a local law school and began taking classes full time. During his first year Erin gave birth to a baby boy named Michael. She continued to work while Vincent went to school and they both struggled to balance childcare and work.
Firm Job
Vincent did well in law school and landed a job at the firm he had worked at after college. He was in the litigation department and began working closely with a senior partner named Don who had a lot of high-profile cases with prestigious clients. The hours were long and grueling but he was very well-compensated and Erin was able to quit her job and stay at home full-time with the baby.
During his second year at the firm Erin gave birth to a baby girl named Marion. With their family growing they decided to buy a four-bedroom house in a nice suburb. It was the nicest home either of them had ever lived in. Erin was particularly excited because she got to decorate her dream house and spent a good deal of money renovating the place, buying furniture and carpet. Both Erin and Vincent had come from families with limited means so they could hardly comprehend the life they were able to live now.
As their children got older they started to ask their mother where their dad was, why he often wasn’t home for dinner and away on weekends. Erin tried to explain to them that their dad loved them very much and that was why he was working so hard for them. Erin would mention the kids’ questions to Vincent and he would get frustrated and tell her that his boss Don had a lot of expectations and if he wanted to succeed and maintain the life they had some sacrifices needed to be made. Discussions like this would eventually end up in an argument that resulted in both of them not talking to each other for a couple of days.
What’s The Right Thing To Do?
- Erin needs to offer to go back to work so they will be less dependent on Vincent’s job?
- Vincent needs to speak to his boss Don and ask him if working fewer hours will truly mean he has no future at the firm?
- Erin needs to be more patient and understanding of the pressure Vincent is under and try to make it work?
- Vincent should look for a new job?
- Erin should compromise and have Vincent sing Michael a lullaby over the phone if he is still at work.
None of these sound right to you? Want to qualify one of the above answers? What do you think Vincent and Erin should do?
Good Night?
At 8 o’clock one Monday night in October, she was putting Michael to bed when he asked to be sung a lullaby. Erin started to sing the first few notes of “Lullaby and Goodnight” and Michael started to scream at her “No! I want Daddy to sing to me!” Erin tried to explain that his dad was still at work but Michael would have none of it and cried inconsolably for half an hour. Erin knew how Michael felt; Vincent had worked very late for 10 days straight and hadn’t spent any meaningful time with the family.
After Michael finally went down for the night, Erin found herself fighting back tears as well. When Vincent finally arrived at home at 11:30pm she was sitting in her nightgown at the kitchen table. “We need to talk” she said before he took off his jacket. “I don’t think I can do this anymore. Your career is killing our marriage and family.”
Vincent stood there stunned. He had never heard Erin talk like this before. Before he could respond, Erin said “Unless we make some changes this isn’t going to work”
“Well that’s fine for you to say” Vincent finally replied “but you seem to have no problem spending the money my career is bringing in.”
Already taken the quiz for part 1? Move on to the next step: “The Wrinkle” to our Moral Dilemma.
Read our Expert’s Analysis of the dilemma and your responses.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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