The 2008 Freshman Survival Guide
25 Things Every College Freshman Should Know Before Classes Start
13. Psych 101
Late adolescence and early young adulthood are the blooming seasons for many mental illnesses. The college environment—little sleep, no supervision, a lack of people who know what “normal” is for you—can all add up to danger when it comes to addiction or mental illness. If you find yourself behaving in ways that are contrary to your values or if you feel like you’re in the bottom of an emotional pit and can’t get out, get to the counseling center! Addiction and mental illness are two of the deadliest issues for college freshman.
The most painful thing I experience as a clinician is witnessing the amount of suffering that students endure before seeking help. They often suffer alone, which compounds the problem. They don’t want to burden parents or friends, and ironically that selfless desire increases their isolation, which further worsens the problem. They haven’t learned yet that sharing stress invites others to share their own stresses, solidifies connections and provides opportunities for new perspectives and solutions.—Dr. Richard Kadison
- Anonymous
14. Go to Class!
15. Dating, Relationships and Sex on Campus
Everyone seems to have a story about a bad dating decision or a hook-up gone wrong. Whether it’s an older student that takes advantage of freshman naïveté, a crush turned stalker, or simply a case of leaping prior to looking, campus relationships can be a bit of a minefield. Be particularly cautious in those first few weeks when everyone’s still adrift. Falling for someone who’s just looking for a little recreational intimacy early in your first semester can mess up your head, not to mention your grades. Besides a broken heart or a bruised ego there are lots of other reasons to avoid hooking up. College is a great place to get an STD. According to Go Ask Alice!, somewhere between 20 and 25 percent of college students are or have been infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Wait ‘til you’ve been on campus and have built some friendships you can fall back on before getting into a romantic relationship. Then if your romance works out you’ll have some friends to be happy for you, and if not there’ll be somebody to hand you a Kleenex when you’re crying into your teacup.
RA & Hall Director Zahrah Ektefaei at Fordham warns—Watch out for the campus “player.” Every campus has a guy who is notorious for hitting on the incoming freshmen. This guy shows up to all the freshman events, is quite the charmer, will say all the right things, and seems really together; however, be smart and be safe. I have known a number of freshman women who beat themselves up for things they did with that guy (or girl). I’m not saying all people are bad, just be aware and savvy to the college dating scene.
Rabbi Schiller talks about sex:
Often there’s little understanding that there’s a spiritual component to sex, the conventional thinking is “if there’s a relationship, we can maybe develop something deeper” but other than that, sex on campus is basically just ‘friends with benefits’ but I think that’s fundamentally flawed. Those actions do contain a spiritual component, that’s why one person often feels crappy when they’re done. In Judaism we see sexuality as the pinnacle of spiritual expression and if you feel crappy afterwards then you’re likely feeling the spiritual aftershocks. Why do you feel bad about it? Because there’s intimacy without connection. Our need for intimacy comes from a spiritual desire to be connected to people; the bad feeling comes from that connection not being rooted in anything real.
Check out Fr. Rick Malloy’s article Just Sex? On Busted Halo
16. A Few Words About Religion
There will be lots of different ideas floating around campus. It’s one of the best things about the college atmosphere, and an open mind is a great thing to bring with you. Hopefully some of your ideas will be challenged and you’ll explore your faith more deeply because of it. However, if you find yourself in a conversation about God that leaves you feeling defensive, don’t feel like you have to keep talking OR listening. Just because you’re not a good arguer that doesn’t make you a bad Christian (or Jew or Muslim or Buddhist)! There are churches that train their young members to recruit and even to attack the theology of other Christians (nice, huh?). Usually that person is not interested in your ideas or theology, they only want you to leave your church and join theirs. Bring your questions back to someone you trust. For more advice on this topic, check out our God on Campus roundtable here.
There are religious groups on every campus who use pressure tactics to recruit. Beware of anyone who is too friendly too fast, or who seems to have scripted questions designed to make you doubt the faith you grew up with. Be very wary of any group that subtly tries to separate you from your family and friends, even for apparently sincere “religious” reasons. Larry Rice, CSP, Newman Center, Ohio State University
Many campuses have great Catholic parishes and staffs that can both comfort and challenge you in your faith. It’ll be different than home but should be familiar enough to keep you grounded. “We call ourselves a student parish. This is your parish and you shape what happens here,” says Dave Nantais. Campus Ministry can be a great place to meet people with similar values, get connected with service and retreat opportunities, and can be a real life line if you find yourself struggling later in the semester. Prayer groups, social events, interfaith opportunities and even spiritual direction (someone to act as a mentor and guide for your prayer life) are often available through campus ministry.
17. Wash Your hands!
Your mother was right. Studies have shown it’s the single best way to avoid getting whatever bug is going around on campus.
18. Learn How to be a College Student
Organizing your time and using it effectively, utilizing study groups, the library and all the different learning centers and resources available on campus, and learning to advocate for yourself is a whole new skill set for most people. Give yourself some time to get used to this new learning environment and don’t expect that you should be able to figure it all out yourself. Seek out other students who are good at these skills and imitate them. Ask upperclassmen, especially those in your major, what they did freshman year to keep up with class material, study for tests, and relate to professors.
Loyola Marymount professor Amir Hussain, Ph.D. and author of Oil and Water: Two Faiths, One God, tells his new students — you have made a conscious, informed choice to be a member of this class. This means that you have read the syllabus, and know the workload required. Be aware that on average, you should spend 3 hours on your own (reading, studying, making notes, working on assignments, etc.) for every hour that you are in class. For more on this topic, check out our “The Care and Feeding of the College Professor” here.
RA Michaela McDonald, Providence College— Many students say reading all course material isn’t worth the time, but in my experience it makes class participation much easier and cuts study time in half. Read at night to unwind and always use a pen or highlighter to keep yourself interested and to burn it into your memory.
19. Remember to HALT
Keep your act together! Don’t let yourself get too…
- Hungry Your mom’s not here to remind you to eat. Get to the dining hall and take care of yourself. Skipping meals messes with your mood AND your appetite.
- Angry Manage your emotions, take a walk, work out, talk to a friend, and especially don’t drink when you’re angry! Angry + drunk=stupid behavior, sometimes involving campus security.
- Lonely Stay connected to your support network. Call your mother! IM your old friends, e-mail your youth minister/pastor/mentor.
Dr. Kadison says— At least until you have strong connections among your college peers and professors, keep the connection with your family alive. Send them e-mail, pick up the phone when they call. It’s a little dose of insurance in case the day comes when you’re out there alone and you need to hear a kind, familiar voice
- Tired If you find yourself weepy all the time, impose a strict bedtime on yourself and see if that doesn’t improve your mood. All-nighters are a bad idea. NOBODY does their best work under pressure—that’s just something we procrastinators tell ourselves to rationalize our bad behavior.
“I think the main thing that I have learned during college is not to lose faith. It might be hard sometimes, but depending on God really brought me more peace than I had ever felt, even as I was awkwardly meeting new people and clumsily taking new classes. Trusting Him is as easy as sitting in the chapel for ten minutes just thinking… praying on a walk to class… thanking God for the little things… volunteering… reaching out to someone sitting alone—these are ways I found my place and met great friends—all because I trusted God!”
Becky Guhin,
Providence College
20. Pray
Whether you’re an experienced or novice prayer, now’s a great time to do it. Your understanding of who God is and how God works will most likely change a lot over the next few years. When you have a decision to make, Fr. Charlie Donahue suggests prayer. “Spend some time in your own head and heart mulling over what you really want to do and what would be healthy.” Prayer can keep you open to new directions and insights. It can also simply be a reminder of God’s love and care for you. And most importantly it can keep you centered, calm and ready to deal with everything life is throwing at you right now. Don’t know how? Check out some of the resources here on BustedHalo.com to get started or see what BustedHalo’s God On Campus panel has to say on the subject.
Fr. Marty Moran, Executive Director of the Catholic Campus Ministry Association—In your new world of college life there’s constant motion and very little down time; you’ll want to take everything in. You need to build in quiet time with the Lord. Try to spend the time walking to class, or waiting for your laundry to finish in the dryer as a time for prayer. When life seems to not be going the way you want, one of my favorite phrases to ponder is this, “Don’t tell God how big your storm is, but tell your storm how big your God is.”
NEXT: Finding a Balance…
Have printed it out an stuck it on my daughter’s desk :) All great advice.
Wow! A great bit of advice. I am what they call a “super-senior”. I graduated high school in 2003 and this is the start of my fifth year in college. I will graduate this December with 4 and a half years of college under my belt. It took me so long because I took a year off to volunteer at our Diocescan Mission, an orphanage, in Peru. Parents should use the “send to a friend” link above to email this to their young adult children who are in college, no matter what year along the path. And campus ministers should print the printable version above. If had this kind of information and had used it as a freshman the college experience might have had a few less bumps in it for me. Nontheless, college has been great and I have learned for the bumps so I must say that all is truly well that ends well.
Nora,
Simply outstanding. May I be so bold as to make the following suggestion? Get more testimonials like the 2 above, as well as the 2 comments and add that as a compendium to your book.
Is there going to be a 2009 Survival Guide? Is it going to be soon? (Classes are starting in just a few short weeks!)
Yes, Cathy…this year’s guide will be out tomorrow…FYI: we are deep into the final days of working on the first Freshman Survival Guide Book that will be out in April 2010, so this year’s guide will be an update of what’s going on as well as the one sheet to give away…
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