Joshua Daly
Loyola, New Orleans

“My freshman roommate and I were complete opposites. I was immersed in my studies and every activity I could do and he drank all the time and played video games. But we got along really well because we respected one another’s space, sleep times, etc. The next year, my roommate was one of my good friends and it was horrible because we couldn’t agree on those ground rules. So I guess the moral is: you don’t have to be best friends with your roommate(s), just make sure you set ground rules and let them know if something bothers you.”

6. Living With a Weirdo
They might seem weird or messy or talk too much or keep different hours than you, but work hard to establish and maintain a positive relationship with your new roommate. You may not spend every waking moment together, nor should you, but even roommates who are polar opposites can still offer each other a little sympathy after a hard day.

Michelle Goodwin, Associate Director of Catholic Campus Ministry at the University of Texas offers this advice—Even if you filled out the likes/dislikes form the college sent you, it may take a semester to understand more clearly what you can and cannot tolerate. Your roommate may look different, have different taste in music and interests and still be the best person in the world but you will never find out if you don’t give them a chance. If conflicts arise, try to work them out with your roommate first and then go to you RA for help.

7. Fight Homesickness Without Going Home
Homesickness can be really tough, but one of the worst ways to fight it is by heading home for the weekend. Tough it out for a few weekends and make the effort to get out and do something. You’ll miss out on a lot of college life if you hit the road and spend all of your weekends back home. Plus when you get back on campus Sunday night you can end up feeling even more isolated. If you really can’t make it without a little homemade TLC try a nice long phone call first or see if you can con your folks into coming to visit you.

Fr. Rick Malloy— You will get homesick. For the past five years, I’ve lived in a freshman dorm. The first week everyone is frenetic, happy, rushing around loving college. About day 12 or 15, all of the sudden, almost every freshman looks like someone just stole their puppy. Relax. Homesickness is normal, and it is also normal to think you are the only one feeling it. It takes some time to adjust. Again, relax. Homesickness passes. GO TO CLASS and get involved in some activity you enjoy or want to explore.

8. Helpful People
You’ll find them on virtually every campus! Coming out of high school it can be easy to think of administration as part of the problem, but…

Michael Galligan-Stierle, Vice President of the Association of Catholic Colleges and Universities, suggests— Trust the institution of RA’s and adults as mentors rather than looking at them as authority figures.

There are lots of people on campus whose job it is to help you. Depending on your question or problem, there are a number of folks to help you: health services, counseling, your academic adviser, campus ministry, your RA. Colleges know the transition can be a rocky one. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it!

Larry Rice, CSP, Director of Catholic Campus Ministry at Ohio State suggests— Your Catholic campus minister, chaplain, or Newman Center staff members are here to help. If you need someone to talk to, a place to belong, a community to be a part of, and a place to be accepted for yourself, look us up. Generally speaking, we’re a different kind of church than you may have experienced before: energetic, welcoming, faith-filled, and fun. Serious

Paul Whitmire
RIT

Always, and I mean ALWAYS lock your door when you leave (unless it’s just to the bathroom but then not if you don’t trust people on your floor). And never EVER leave stuff in the public areas on campus. Leaving something there is just like putting a big sign on it that says STEAL ME. I can’t count the number of emails about stolen laptops that people have left in the lounges unattended while they go do something.

9. Keeping Safe — Your Stuff and Your Self
It may be a pain to always lock up, every time, to constantly keep an eye on personal items, but not as much of a pain as replacing your ID, your bank card, and everything else you’ll lose if your wallet or purse or laptop is stolen. The extra 30 seconds it takes to lock and unlock your door is well worth the trouble when you consider the time it would take to replace what you could lose if you don’t. Why do we love laptops? They’re portable, lightweight and easy to move quickly. All those lovely qualities, and the fact that they’re pretty expensive, make them a really attractive target for theft. Never, never, never leave your laptop unattended in a public place, even ‘just for a second’.

ALWAYS LOCK:

• your door

• your car

• your bike

• your locker

DON’T LET OUT OF YOUR SIGHT:

• your cell

• your laptop

• your iPod

• your backpack/purse

Especially when you’re new on campus, choose caution over courage. Is it brave to walk home alone at 3:00 am through an unfamiliar part of campus? Maybe, but most experienced students would tell you it’s just stupid. Don’t leave a building alone after dark and if you feel like someone is following you, get to a well-lit place, go back to where you came from if it’s nearby, or call campus security from your cell.

Use caution, especially those first few weeks. The new friends who’ve been so much fun during orientation might just ditch you when they’re drunk on Saturday night, so have a backup plan for getting home. Stick to public places for early dating experiences, and if you plan to leave campus, make sure someone knows where you’re going and when you plan to be back.

RA & Hall Director Zahrah Ektefaei at Fordham University recommends— Be aware of people…your parents always told you never to talk to strangers. They were right. Yes, making new friends from class, the residence hall, or around campus is a good thing; however, don’t fully let your guard down. Don’t assume the worst in everyone, but don’t be naïve either. You should never feel obligated to compromise your values for friendships, grades, or for the next party. If you don’t feel safe going to a party, hanging out with a certain person, or walking around late at night…don’t do it

Peter Zlotnick
Northwestern

Don’t be afraid to not know. That’s why you’re going to college. I think it’s not just freshmen who need the advice, either. Freshman year was good for me, but then after that, it’s not like there’s a huge change—sophomores, etc. could use help, too

10. Be Yourself and Take Time to Reflect
College is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself, but don’t go too far. Remember that whomever you decide to become is the character you’ll have to play for the rest of this drama. Don’t forget who you are just because you‘re in a new place. You’re still you and it’s gotten you this far! Your values, your likes and dislikes, the things you’re good at haven’t changed. Hang onto those things, especially while you’re getting used to this new environment.

Charles L. Currie, SJ, President of the Association of Jesuit Colleges and Universities suggests— Once a week, step back and say to yourself “What’s going on? What choices have I made and have they been good ones or bad ones?” Try to develop a whole lifestyle of conversation, of both listening and responding in as mature a way as possible. That’s a lifetime project, obviously, we’re still doing it, but these are the early stages.

RA Joshua Daly adds—College is a great time to find yourself and what you love. Some people have known what they wanted to do when they grew up since they were seven years old; others, not so much. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. With all of the pressures, I found I really figured out the big questions little by little, and I learned from lots of different experiences and people.

11. Friendships
After your first week reassess your new friendships. Do it again after your first month. If the friends you connected with initially don’t seem to be a good fit, widen your circle. If you find your group stays in when you want to go out, drinks too much, or just has different interests, don’t be afraid to continue meeting new people.

InterVarsity Chaplain and City of Angels Film Festival founder Scott Young— Friendship is the most important thing in life, and spiritual friendship’s really important, [College is] four years of a concentrated pool of friends that you won’t have, most likely, anywhere else in the rest of your life. In addition to all the other things you feel you need to accomplish, learning how to be a friend and finding friends is an indispensable life skill. That started in high school but it’s very different doing that in college. But it needs to be stated and there’s a skill to it that needs to be learned.

RA Michaela McDonald, Providence—I [talked recently] with a rising sophomore who worried about making new friends this second year of college because she joined an unfit social circle her freshman year. In order to prevent that I suggest joining many activities you enjoy—social justice work, your school newspaper, or club sports—in order to meet people of different interests and backgrounds. That way if one social scene is not for you, another will be at your finger tips.

Andy Sowell
Virginia Tech

One of the biggest pitfalls for incoming freshmen is drinking and drug problems. It’s no secret that college makes it very easy to start drinking and a lot of kids aren’t used to having that kind of freedom, so they end up needing their stomachs pumped on their first night in the dorms, like a guy on my hall freshman year. April 16 [the Virginia Tech shootings] hasn’t changed this in my opinion, that’s a problem in any case.

12. Too Much of a Dangerous Thing
You might be tempted to tune this advice out because you’ve heard it so many times but…DON’T! I can’t tell you how many kids I’ve known who’ve bombed out because they drank too much! Without the simple limits of home — curfews, “my mom will know if I spend the night hugging the toilet,” friends who don’t want to go drinking — it’s easy to find yourself with a very expensive waste of a semester. It’s a really embarrassing way to flunk out of college or get yourself into stupid trouble. If you won’t take my word for it, the statistics on the effects of college drinking are astounding — see for yourself. If you’re getting wasted every weekend you’re headed for trouble. If you’re missing class because you’re hung over you’re IN trouble. See the list of helpful people in #8. Underage drinking is a bad idea. Don’t do it.

R.A. Anthony Bernardo from SUNY Purchase warns— People are going to do dumb things in the hall. If you have friends who drink but you don’t, and they invite you over to their room where everyone is loud and will get caught, don’t do it. You can still get written up.

NEXT: Sex on Campus…

We encourage people to print out and distribute a condensed, one-page pdf version of the 2008 Freshman Survival Guide.

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