During this time I was praying all the time. I was saying at least one rosary a day, and attending daily mass as often as I could. When that wasn’t fixing the problem, I blamed myself and it increased the depression.

I didn’t find relief until I started seeing a third psychologist throught the department. She recommended anti-depressants, and I continued with therapy. After a year it was like a light switch was turned on and the recovery was quick.

I don’t know what to tell you as far as sticking with a relationship. I know this process was very hard on my wife and children. I do know that I’m blessed to have them and I thank God that they stayed by my side. Obviously, this may not work for everyone, but it did for me. Sorry for the long post.

I suggest reading books about the illness he is struggling with. So you can understand it, and be able to detect any changes in behavior caused by the illness.

When you are sick, you will quickly learn who loves you, and who will avoid you when you are down on your luck.

I believe god would never give us a cross we could not bear. The illness is a trial to overcome. I would suggest to him to pray daily, read scripture and go to mass more often, or praying with the blessed sacrament. And ask his family to pray for him.

I have always found jeremiah 29:11-13 to be an uplifiting verse.

Maybe when he is healed he can go back and work with other people struggling with mental illness and let them know they can and will get better if they pray and trust their doctors.

Even if your relationship does not last, if you support him while he is sick then he will know that he has a friend that will stick by him in tough times.

God gives the toughest trials to his strongest children. Pray together, and ask him to keep a journal of his thoughts.

I pray that god helps you and your partner. It is always great to have a happy ending.

As long as his depression doesnt force him to become abusive or violent, then I would just continue to pray for each other. And just be honest with him about how this illness is making you feel.

It is kind of like the lion with a splinter in his foot. If you are the one who helps remove the splinter, then he will always remember you for taking away his pain.

I have some prayer resources on my website http://www.awesomearchangel.com

take care and god bless

I just began dating a man, so I have not yet dated someone who is depressed, but I can offer some advie as someone who has been there.

First off, I STRONGLY reccomend the book Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach by Sr. Kathryn James Hermes. This book was my therapist + my spiritual director. I even exchanged a few emails with Sr. Kathryn. The book contains practical, tangible tips for the person who is depressed & the person who has a family member or friend struggling with depression. I remember one day I was reading through it and I copied a page for my Mom of “things not to say” and she had said each one of them at least once. Often comments with good intentions can have a horrible impact on someone who is struggling with depression.

When I was in the midst of my depression, I didn’t date. I would get notes on some of the online dating sites I had used, and I would politely reply and say that I was not in a position to date right now & to please pray for me.

My advice to Susan:
1. Buy the book. (http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Depression-Kathryn-James-Hermes/dp/0819870773/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218815318&sr=8-1)
It really gives you insight into what John or anyone else is going through. I felt like the book was written directly for me – it was such an amazing help. I have relatives that have survived depression & I call them for support because they have been there.

2. Let him know that you’re there for him & affirm his masculinity in positive, Christian ways. My biggest fear when I was first diagnosed with depression was guys would see me as “damaged goods” and that I would never get married. If you’re comfortable, suggest that he talk to a therapist. If your relationship continues, ask if you can do a joint session with his therapist so you can get some professional advice. My mom came with me to 2 therapist appts and it was SO helpful for her (and for me!). I even left the room at one point so my mom could vent to my therapist about what she was experiencing in response to my depression so I wouldn’t feel guilty for putting her through this (yes, I know that sounds crazy, but I did feel guilty for putting her through this. It’s called a mental illness for a reason!)

3. Concerning your comment about wondering if you’re going to be strong enough to stick it out – pray for that courage. God will give it to you. My spiritual director told me to read Exodus 3 about Moses & the burning bush, which at the time I thought was an odd passage to read. But, I found peace in God saying to Moses, I’m going to use you to lead others through a desert to freedom. It’s going to be tough, but I AM. That I AM got me through the darkest nights. Knowing that God led me through that desert to free myself (and others) from slavery brought me comfort.

You’ll be in my prayers.