Comments on: Must Catholics Marry in a Church?

By: Karen

Karen — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:28:14 +0000

After reading the comments on “Must Catholics Marry in a church?”, my concern is if anyone is listening/reading…looking around in our area Catholic Churches, they are full of the elderly ~ We need to work WITH these young please; not AGAINST them~ Would SOMEONE PLEASE recognize these sincere people and the simple requests they have…It’s 2009, not 1909… Thank you for LISTENING.

By: bridget

bridget — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:04:19 +0000

my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and i have been discussing marriage. we are both 30 years old and neither one of us has ever been married. each of us has been in several extended relationships with others, but never felt compatable enough to commit to “the rest of our life” with any of these subjects. he is my best friend and i am his. we look forward to every moment that we spend together, but we make sure to engage in activities apart from one another also…long story short…very healthy relationship.
i was raised in a very large devout catholic family. i am an active member of the catholic church and devote myself to service at masses a couple time a month.
he was raised a methodist, but doesn’t practice this religion. he does believe in God and Jesus Christ. he is very supportive of my faith and feels comfortable that our children will be raised catholic. he is a very giving man and wants nothing more than my complete happiness.
i, on the other hand, feel that i want to accomodate his happiness also…this is part of which make us a great couple…and i know that nothing would make him happier than an outdoor wedding. i feel that no matter where i am…god is present. no where does the bible say that there needs to be a building…it states “where two or more are gathered in my name…” and it also hurts my feelings that my faith will not support my want and need to bring him happiness to.

By: judy

judy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:28:17 +0000

the reasoning is a bit lame. baptisms can be celebrated anywhere. and yes, it is wonderful to celebrate a wedding in a church, because that is where the community of believers generally gathers, since outdoor masses are held, that resoning goes out the window.
Also, what about a couple that chooses NOT to have a nuptial mass ?
As long as the priest or deacon officiates and the couple is married in front of witnesses and ideally a congregation of family and friends–how can the “official” Church teaching counter the validity of the sacrament ! There have been plenty of bad marriages made in cathedrals, with beautifully sung high masses, flowers, priests, bridesmaids, et al !!!
Let’s get back to basics, people. Remember jesus’ words about the coming times when we will be worshipping at the riverbanks !

By: D

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:23:31 +0000

However much people’s reasons for choosing to marry outside a Roman Catholic building may be trivialized by the Roman Catholic Church, the fact is that this matter is a significant factor leading many individuals and couples to abandon the RCC. I have performed dozens of weddings for couples who have left the RCC for just such nonsense rules that apparently remain so that the hierarchy can hang on to the vestiges of its one-time secular authority. Some priests, et al., really like to “call the shots” and say, “Sorry, it’s our way or the highway.” What a shame that the RCC would lose people for this and other debatable hard-line rules–not very Christlike, if you ask me. But, of course, you didn’t, because the RCC seems to care more for its rules than its people–either that or maybe you just don’t want it to rain on your silk damask vestments ;-)

By: Ann

Ann — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 00:36:19 +0000

This seems like a trivial topic to base a person’s faith on. What’s more beautiful than that walk down the aisle with all the people important in your life watching in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. if it’s not just about romance why is there no problem with the sacraments that have to be celebrated in the church. If you love your church you won’t want to go anywhere els If it’s not that important to you there are all sorts of accomodations for outdoor weddings

By: D

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:35:17 +0000

For me this was the final straw that drove me away from the Catholic Church. The idea that God’s blessing, or a community, can only exist within an artificial, man made edifice is quite frankly ludicrous.
Furthermore, I do take exception to Fr. Larry’s comment that having an outdoor wedding is merely a “romantic” idea. Where better to experience God’s majesty than outdoor’s.
And finally, what makes this policy even worse are that exceptions are constantly made. Several celebrities have received dispensation to have outdoor marriages. Why is it good for them but not for the regular flock?

By: FrLarry

FrLarry — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:25:00 +0000

Part of the problem here is that our catechesis about marriage has been so poor that most of the couples who want “their” wedding outside of a church don’t have any idea that their wedding has anything to do with their community of faith. Instead, it’s all about their romantic moment in the spotlight. For lots of couples (regardless of the venue they choose) the church is simply a backdrop for the ceremony, and means nothing more to them than the reception hall or outdoor gazebo.

When I meet couples who want to be married outdoors, I remind them that such plans are easily ruined by such capricious elements as rain, wind, humidity and swarming insects. That romantic attachment to outdoor venues can be surprisingly fragile.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:04:29 +0000

This is one of a few reasons I am choosing not to be married in a Catholic church.

By: Ed

Ed — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 02:38:53 +0000

Is this rule not, perhaps, just another one of those things that push Catholics away from their faith?

I am thinking of a couple, who are both Catholic but chose to be married by a minister so that they could be married outside. It was a tough decision for them to make , but at least the minister was willing to listen to their hearts, and their needs..

I can’t help but think that in centuries past within the Catholic Church, there have been fully Catholic weddings out of doors and the sky has not fallen, nor has God failed to bless their union.