|
Pure Sex, Pure Love
Blind Date!
By Dr. Christine B. Whelan
Those two words strike fear in the hearts of singles everywhere. And if you're single past your early 20s, odds are, you've been on one.
The fear of the blind date is the fear of the unknown: Your friend, your aunt, your next-door neighbor says you should meet so-and-so who is "just perfect" and before you know it, you're agreeing to coffee or dinner with a total stranger.
It's also this fear that makes the whole concept so, well, enticing. One of the most popular syndicated dating shows on TV was a show called "Blind Date," that videotaped a couple on that first fateful date. We loved watching because it was all about possibilities—and, in many cases, all the possibilities for things to go wrong.
Varying Degrees
To be clear, I'm not anti-blind date. In fact, my general advice to singles serious about meeting a great match is to get out there at every opportunity, and that means blind dates galore.
"Odds are that your blind date isn't going to be your future spouse. But just think about all the terrible dates you've been on that were your
own choice."
|
I went on nearly a dozen blind dates in my late 20s. On a few we clicked instantly and had a wonderful time. But I can't lie: Most of my blind dates have been varying degrees of awful.
So it's important to be honest with yourself. Odds are that your blind date isn't going to be your future spouse. But just think about all the terrible dates you've been on that were your own choice. The mistakes I made— even when I could pick these guys after meeting them at a party, or knowing them for years—far outnumbered the mistakes my well-meaning friends made on my behalf.
Blind dates stir up that special blend of fear and anticipation: This could be "the one." So even though you've had some terrible experiences, you
buck up and give it a try (again). And they can also stir up that special blend of details for a hilarious story to tell your friends afterward: "He showed up all in leather…" "She cried the whole time…" "We just stared at each other awkwardly…"
It Gets Worse
Blind Dates
TAKE THIS SURVEY!!
To Answer the Questionnaire,
click here
|
Name (fake name is fine)
Age
Gender
I would be willing to go on a blind date.
a) true
b) false
How many blind dates have you been on?
a) 0
b) 1-3
c) 4-6
d) 6-10
e) more than 10
My mother or father has set me up on a blind date.
a) true
b) false
I would insist upon seeing a photo before I agree to go out on a blind date with someone.
a) true
b) false
I would ask about the person's religious background before I agree to go out on a blind date.
a) true
b) false
Women are more likely to agree to going on a blind date than men.
a) true
b) false
Please share the story of the best blind date you've had.
(Short answer)
Please share the story of the worst blind date you've had.
(Short answer)
|
Blind dates are terrifying. But want to make those two little words sound even more terrifying? Add a few more words:
Blind date set up by your mother.
A new book, "Have I Got a Guy for You": What Really Happens When Mom Fixes You Up, is a compendium of more than two-dozen true stories of well-meaning mismatches. I giggled at the title, but once I picked it up, I couldn't stop reading. The stories were hilarious.
In one true story, a mother sets up an online dating profile for her daughter and spends months weeding through the men before telling her daughter what she's done. Or the woman whose mother set her up with a man who (loudly) performed a monologue at Starbucks, or the perfect guy who turned out to be obsessed with his ex-girlfriend…the list goes on and
on.
I don't doubt for a minute that all these terrible dates occurred, but to see them catalogued, printed in black and white, relayed mostly with dead-pan humor, was somehow hopeful: All these others had gone on terrible blind dates, too. We all want the same thing. We all have that little bit of hope that the next date will be different.
This book was written for women—about terrible blind dates that mothers had set up for their daughters. But mothers, friends, coworkers set men up on blind dates, too. So let's hear about it, from all of you BustedHalo readers, men and women alike.
Click on the Blind Date survey (right) and share your thoughts. I'll write up your best stories in a Catholic Blind Date Guide coming soon.
Read more articles from our popular relationship column, Pure Sex Pure Love.
 Dr. Christine B. Whelan, 30, is an Iowa-based social historian. Her book Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (Simon & Schuster) is in stores now and is also available on this site at the Halo Store. Visit her book's site to see her Good Morning America, CNN and other TV appearances, read reviews of the book from various publications, including the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal.
She can be reached at puresex@bustedhalo.com
|
