PART II

25 Things Every College Freshman Should

Know Before Classes Start

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15. Dating, Relationships, and Sex on Campus
Everyone seems to have a story about a bad-dating decision or a hook-up gone wrong. Whether it’s an older student that takes advantage of freshman naïveté, a crush turned stalker, or simply a case of leaping prior to looking; campus relationships can be a bit of a minefield. Be particularly cautious in those first few weeks when everyone’s still adrift. Falling for someone who’s just looking for a little recreational intimacy early in your first semester can mess up your head not to mention your grades. Besides a broken heart or a bruised ego there are lots of other reasons to avoid hooking up. College is a great place to get an STD. According to Go Ask Alice!, somewhere between 20 and 25 percent of college students are or have been infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Wait til you’ve been on campus and have built some friendships you can fall back on before getting into a romantic relationship. Then if your romance works out you’ll have some friends to be happy for you and if not there’ll be somebody to hand you a Kleenex when you’re crying into your teacup.

16. A Few Words About Religion
There will be lots of different ideas floating around campus. It's one of the

best things about the college

atmosphere and an open mind

is a great thing to bring with you. Hopefully some of your ideas will be challenged and you’ll explore your faith more deeply because of it. However, if you find yourself in a conversation about God that leaves you feeling defensive, don’t feel like you have to keep talking OR listening. Just because you’re not a good arguer that doesn’t make you a bad Christian! (or Jew or Muslim or Buddhist). There are churches that train their young members to recruit and even to attack the theology of other Christians (nice, huh?) Usually that person is not interested in your ideas or theology, they only want you to leave your church and join theirs. Bring your questions back to someone you trust.

There are religious groups on every campus who use pressure tactics to recruit. Beware of anyone who is too friendly too fast, or who seems to have scripted questions designed to make you doubt the faith you grew up with. Be very wary of any group that subtly tries to separate you from your family and friends, even for apparently sincere "religious" reasons.

Fr. Larry Rice, CSP, Newman Center, Ohio State University

17. Wash your hands!
Your mother was right. Studies have shown it's the single best way to avoid getting whatever bug is going around on campus.

18. Learn how to be a college student
Organizing your time and using it effectively, utilizing study groups, the library and all the different learning centers and resources available on

campus, and learning to advocate for yourself is a whole new skill set for most people. Give yourself some time to get used to this new learning environment and don’t expect that you should be able to figure it all out yourself. Seek out other students who are good at these skills and imitate them. Ask upperclassmen, especially those in your major, what they did freshman year to keep up with class material, study for tests and relate to professors.

Walking into a college classroom for the first time can be intimidating. I have known Freshmen who the day before classes begin, map out the route they will take, so on the first day of class they know where they are going. Not a bad idea, but I think the biggest pitfall for Freshmen in a classroom is the route they take to their studies. Be prepared and participate. If you don't understand something, ask questions, e-mail concerns or set an appointment. Office hours are there for a reason. Meet your professors and help them put a name to a face. They’ll never get to know you at all unless you make the effort both inside and outside the classroom. Michelle Goodwin, Newman Center, University of Texas

One pitfall for incoming freshman is students who expect too much of themselves- over committing to too many activities and not creating a balance between academic work, engaging with other students to make time for relationships, and having quiet time. Also, new students often have problems prioritizing time to sleep, exercise, and eat a balanced diet. These basic skills can make a big difference in adjustment.

Dr. Richard Kadison, Harvard University

19. Remember the HALT method of keeping your act together

Don't let yourself get too...

• Hungry Your mom’s not here to remind you to eat, get to the dining hall and take care of yourself. Skipping meals messes with your mood AND your appetite.

• Angry Manage your emotions, take a walk, work out, talk to a friend, and especially don’t drink when you’re angry! Angry + drunk=stupid behavior, sometimes involving campus security.

• Lonely Stay connected to your support network. Call your mother! IM your old friends, e-mail your youth minister/pastor/mentor.

  Dr. Kadison says—At least until you have strong connections among your college peers and professors, keep the connection with your family alive. Send them e-mail, pick up the phone when they call. It’s a little dose of insurance in case the day comes when you’re out there alone and you need to hear a kind, familiar voice.

  
  
  

• Tired If you find yourself weepy all the time, impose a strict bedtime on yourself and see if that doesn’t improve your mood. All-nighters are a bad idea. NOBODY does their best work under pressure that’s just something we procrastinators tell ourselves to rationalize our bad behavior.

20. Pray

Whether you’re an experienced or novice pray-er, now’s a great time to do it. Your understanding of who God is and how God works will most likely change a lot over the next few years. When you have a decision to make Fr. Charlie Donahue suggests prayer, “Spend some time in your own head and heart mulling over what you really want to do and what would be healthy.” Prayer can keep you open to new directions and insights. It can also simply be a reminder of God’s love and care for you. And most importantly it can keep you centered, calm and ready to deal with everything life is throwing at you right now. Don’t know how? Check out some of the resources here on BustedHalo.com to get started or take a look at this site run by the Irish Jesuits.

21. Food–Finding the Balance

Doritos is NOT a food group—Everyone’s afraid of the Freshman 15, that infamous fattening up that happens to so many new college students, but many people have trouble avoiding it. Most of us are used to having our mom set a plate in front of us with a pretty balanced meal— something meaty, something green, something starchy. When you head into the dining hall the first time you may be dazzled by the array of choices but make sure that what ends up on your plate has some balance to it. And just because you can have ice cream with every meal doesn’t mean you should. Try not to skip meals; you can end up overeating at the next meal or just wolfing down a bag of chips (or three) back in the dorm because you’ve gotten so hungry. Drink water not soda. You can easily pack on a few pounds in your first semester by adding two or three cans of soda to your daily food intake. This also applies to other canned beverages. They don’t call it a beer gut for nuthin.

The other extreme (eating disorders)—in this new high-pressure environment some people respond by controlling the one thing they feel they can, what they eat. You probably already know if this is a danger for

you. The people who would normally help you keep an eye on your eating problems are also the people who would help you deal with the stress that causes them and they’re not here! AHHHH! But fear not! You can hook up with some help at the counseling center, find yourself a supportive friend or two that you feel you can share your struggles with and stay accountable online to friends or family from back home who can encourage and support you. Watching your weight can become a dangerous obsession that will distract you from your goals just as surely as any other addiction! If you’ve never had problems with dieting, binge eating or weight obsession before but you find yourself distracted by calorie counting, controlling your weight, or are afraid to eat talk to someone! The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders offers help, and resources.

22. Are You Earning Your BA or Your IM?

Whatever your game system, favorite online RPG, or electronic distraction is, be careful! That harmless looking little X-Box can be your education’s worst nightmare. It should stay in the closet and only come out on weekends after your paper is written! Anything addictive or familiar right now is going to be more attractive than going to class and getting your work done. TV, Facebook, blogging, You Tube, downloading music, IM-ing or just surfing can all be nice stress busters but it’s a slippery slope. You start out just finding a little comfort or harmless distraction and before you know it you’ve stayed up all night, not written your paper and missed a couple classes because you were up too late! Self-discipline is a bigger challenge for some of us than others but one of the biggest tasks in life is setting your own limits. If you’re struggling, give yourself an Internet, television, or Playstation “allowance” each day and stick to it. When you’re doing homework, put up your away message. Nobody can multi-task! All it does is slow you down and keep you up later. Chat for 15 minutes and then get off IM and get your work done! Afterwards you can stay up and chat without the worry of the unfinished work hanging over you.

And while we’re talking about the Internet… here’s a hint—online porn and poker are a baaaad idea! 2008 Class president Greg Hogan robbed a bank to pay off his online gambling debts! Hopefully you won’t go to such extremes but because you’re in a strange place with new people (and suddenly without the people and habits that would set external limits on you) anything addictive can be a danger zone. Porn and online gambling, besides their general unsavory nature, are both extraordinarily addictive and the Internet gives us unprecedented access. Don’t get sucked in! Quit. If you find you can’t quit, even when you know you should, there’s lots of help available. For trouble with gambling check your status with these 20 questions. Check out BustedHalo.com’s series on online porn addiction.

23. All Work and No Friends

One of the biggest challenges is worrying about all these new issues at the same time you’re building a new support network. Make sure you take time to tend your relationships –the old ones and the new ones. Parents can be one of your most important supports right now. Take time with new friends to really get to know each other and keep in touch with friends from back home. When the chips are down and you need some encouragement to keep moving forward you’ll be glad you did. Even if you haven’t been great about keeping in touch, an old friend or mentor is usually thrilled to hear from you, even if it’s just so you can whine for a little while. Don’t let guilt or worry about work to be done keep you from tending these life-sustaining relationships!

Dr. Kadison adds—You have to make your own decisions about when to talk to your parents and how much to tell them about your life. But when making that decision remember that being an independent adult doesn’t mean going it alone. Part of being mature is learning when to share problems and concerns and when to ask for help. Even if your parents can’t understand exactly what you’re going through, their love goes a long way – what they don’t get, they’ll usually try to understand and work with you to get through it.

24. Don’t be afraid, just be smart!

There’s a lot to think about its true, and a lot to be cautious about, but this is also the opportunity of a lifetime. You will probably make some of the best friends of your life, you will probably fall in love, you will probably grow more and learn more and discover more about yourself than you ever thought possible. You don’t have to be afraid, just be aware! Like a mountain climber—you’ve got all your safety equipment. You know the safety rules. You’ve been preparing for this climb for a long time. Everyone who knows you is hoping for your success. Keep your eye on the summit and don’t be afraid!

25. And did I mention…go to class!

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We encourage people to

print out and distribute

an abbreviated, one-page

2007 Freshman Survival Guide

PDF version         MS Word version

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Facebook: log onto Facebook and search for the group “BustedHalo” Add your own suggestions and experiences to the Survival Guide (or read other people’s)…

Interested in inviting Nora Bradbury-Haehl to lead a Freshman Survival Workshop for you? Email her at nora@bustedhalo.com

Nora Bradbury-Haehl is a contributing editor at BustedHalo. She writes from Rochester, NY.

Comments to: editor@bustedhalo.com