Busted Halo » Sex & Relationships

Defining the Hook-Up Culture

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:00:55 +0000

As a young professor at a big university, I’m able to talk to my students about rather personal issues like hooking up, relationships and sex. In one class, I asked students to diagram, on a large whiteboard, the evolution of a relationship — from first meeting to marriage. This was a fascinating exercise, and highlighted [...]

Dying for Spiritual Enlightenment

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 04:00:49 +0000

What would you do for spiritual enlightenment and personal success? Would you agree to spend 36 hours alone in the desert without food or water to help clear your mind and find your true potential? Would you follow a trusted leader into a dark, hot tent to experience a version of a centuries-old Native American [...]

Toxic Friendships

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:00:06 +0000

“We need to talk.” The four dreaded words that strike fear into all of us. “We need to talk” is almost never the start of a fun conversation. It’s usually about how you’ve done something wrong. Or how the relationship isn’t working for the other person. And while we all dread those four little words in [...]

Conquering the Daisy Complex

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:00:08 +0000

Call it the Daisy Complex: So many of us worry ourselves sick — think of that silly game where you pluck the petals off a daisy: "She loves me... she loves me not..." seeking an arbitrary answer — and our fear of rejection keeps us from taking the first steps to happiness.

In his head, Thomas plays out the negative scenarios: He asks her out, she says no, and the friendship is ruined — he's lost her entirely.

Or, he asks her out, she says yes, but then things don't work out, and everything is weird after that.

Or...

The scenarios of doom are endless. But one scenario is nearly guaranteed: If Thomas doesn't ask her out or show his interest, she'll never know he cares about her that way. And that, to me, is the saddest of all possibilities.

"I know it's a problem," Thomas told me. "I just don't know how to fix it."

Conquering the Daisy Complex

I gave Thomas two bits of advice... and told him I'd share his story with other young adult readers who might be struggling with similar fears. Here's my advice. What's yours?

Faced with Bereavement

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:54:10 +0000

On a recent Friday night a friend of mine called to tell me her husband had died suddenly. He didn’t suffer and she was with him, but he was young and they’d only been married for a little over a year. At first I thought I hadn’t heard correctly. I was expecting the news that [...]

Matches Made in Heaven?

Jeff Guhin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:00:30 +0000

Jeff Whitfield shouldn’t need any help meeting women. When he talks in his calm, Kentucky drawl about his past rambunctiousness and the salvation his faith provided him, he sounds charming, self-possessed, and likable — not the kind of guy who would need an online dating service. In fact, he wouldn’t have expected it ether. Jeff’s [...]

Responding to Recession Romance

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:19:27 +0000

Katie, 27, and her fiancé, Ryan, got engaged in October, 2008, just as the economy was beginning its free-fall. Ryan was graduating from law school and, with a job lined up at a good firm, he planned to start paying off more than $150,000 in student loans. But in February, Ryan’s law firm withdrew their [...]

Romance in a Recession

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:16:31 +0000

Tim is an unmarried 29-year-old with a master’s in statistics. He’d like to meet a great woman, get married and start a family, but he says the recession has stalled his progress. “I don’t have the disposable income to go out on a date,” Tim told me recently. Plus, he said, his self-worth is tied to [...]

M.E. and Me

Carolyn J. Martone — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:12:57 +0000

Growing up, I was mortified by my parents’ public displays of religion. I’m still convinced that from the years of 1982 to 1986 my parents were part of a cult; others called it “Marriage Encounter.” One fateful Friday afternoon in 1980, they packed one suitcase and prepared to leave for the first of many retreat weekends; [...]

Jon and Kate + Commiserate

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 17:31:15 +0000

Recently, I’ve been tuning in to Jon & Kate Plus Eight at the gym. I watch on the sly like I’d rubberneck on the highway: The crash is too gory to view directly, but I can’t take my eyes off the drama. Some research suggests viewers watch reality TV because deep down they believe, someday, [...]

The Velveteen Rabbit

The Editors — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:52:03 +0000

Episode #9 — The Velveteen Rabbit Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding”. Send us your questions! We encourage you to email us questions, or record a short video with your question and send it to us. If we use your video in a future episode, [...]

Interfaith Marriage… What about the kids?

The Editors — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:20:39 +0000

Episode #8 — Interfaith Marriage… What about the kids? NEXT WEEK: The Princess, The Priest and… The Velveteen Rabbit?! Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Special thanks to Rabbi Jill Hausman of The Actors Temple, NYC. Contact her at cantorweddings.com Send us your questions! We encourage [...]

Balancing Act

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:55:39 +0000

For the last six months, I’ve been busier than usual with work. In January and February, I was promoting my new book Marry Smart and some new findings in mate-preferences research just in time for Valentine’s Day. All the while, I was teaching more than 200 students in two classes at the University of Iowa, [...]

Can We Have An Interfaith Wedding?

The Editors — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:18:07 +0000

Episode #7 — Can we have an interfaith wedding? NEXT WEEK: Interfaith marriage — What about the kids? Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Special thanks to Rabbi Jill Hausman of The Actors Temple, NYC. Contact her at www.cantorweddings.com/ Send us your questions! We encourage you [...]

Why Can’t We Get Married To The Beatles?

The Editors — Tue, 26 May 2009 01:56:05 +0000

Episode #6 — Why Can’t We Get Married To The Beatles? NEXT WEEK: Can we have an interfaith wedding? Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Send us your questions! We encourage you to email us questions, or record a short video with your question [...]

How Can We Keep Our Wedding Simple?

The Editors — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:52:45 +0000

Episode #5 — How can we keep our wedding simple? NEXT WEEK: Why can’t we get married to The Beatles? Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Some links to discount wedding gowns From Christine… “Here’s a link to a great place called VOWS in Newton, [...]

Saying Yes to Sex

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 04 May 2009 01:33:13 +0000

A few weeks ago, a friend sent me a column titled “Women need to say yes to sex.” I had my back up immediately — but kept reading. Bettina Arndt, author of The Sex Diaries, begins the piece with this opening salvo: “What ever happened to wifely duty?” Got your attention now? Yep, in any marriage, [...]

What Does a Celibate Priest Know About Sex?

The Editors — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:50:41 +0000

Episode #4 — What Does a Celibate Priest Know About Sex? Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Send us your questions! We encourage you to email us questions, or record a short video with your question and send it to us. If we use your [...]

Why Can’t We Get Married On The Beach?

The Editors — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:33:02 +0000

Episode #3 Why Can’t We Get Married On The Beach?” (Please note: due to some technical issues encountered while recording, portions of Fr. Eric’s video and audio are slightly distorted.) Up Next: “What does a celibate priest know about sex?” Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect [...]

The Princess Speaks…

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:11:23 +0000

Thinking about getting married? Engaged? Welcome aboard the emotional rollercoaster: Planning a wedding and anticipating a marriage is a joyful time of preparations — but also a highly charged period of decisions, debates and family pressures. And, as usual, BustedHalo® is here to help. Recently, I joined forces via the wonders of iChat technology with Father [...]

The Jerky Priest!

The Editors — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:10:06 +0000

Episode #2 “The Jerky Priest!” Up Next: “If Life’s A Beach, Why Can’t I Get Married On One?” Want to see more? Watch other episodes of “The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding” here. Send us your questions! We encourage you to email us questions, or record a short video with your question and send [...]

Relationship Strategies in an Economic Downturn

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 12:00:31 +0000

This morning, I appeared live on “The Early Show” on CBS to discuss dating and relationship strategies during an economic downturn. Watch the show here and read below for more advice. When is the appropriate time to bring up finances in a relationship — and is it something you should really be asking about early [...]

The Princess, The Priest and the War for the Perfect Wedding

The Editors — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:08:25 +0000

From over-the-top registries to destination weddings, the American wedding industrial complex is a $161 billion consumer bonanza. But a wedding is more than just a party: It’s the beginning of a life-long marriage, an important sacrament in the Catholic Church. Brides want everything to be to their specifications — and priests bristle at being treated like [...]

A Marriage of Inconvenience

The Editors — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:55:44 +0000

The Ambitious Christian…

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:54:26 +0000

Margot, 31, wants to be the first female partner at the boutique law firm where she’s worked for four years. She’s getting great reviews from her bosses because she works long hours, always delivers for clients and, “when a partner tells me to jump, I ask how high on the way up,” she says. “It’s [...]

Do Women Sin Differently Than Men?

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 04:34:49 +0000

There’s a new study out from the Vatican: Seems men and women confess to different sins. The most commonly confessed sin for women is pride, while for men, lust and gluttony rule the confessional. Men’s desire for food is surpassed only by the urge for sex. This analysis is based on a study of confessions carried [...]

Mating by Numbers

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:04:35 +0000

It’s the perennial question: What do men and women want in a spouse? Men are increasingly interested in an educated woman who is a good financial prospect, and less interested in chastity. Women are increasingly interested in a man who wants a family, and less picky about whether he’s always Mr. Nice Guy. That’s according to a [...]

5 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day without Bling or Booty

Brittany Janis — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:51:48 +0000

My boyfriend’s birthday is on February 14, so for the last few years Valentine’s Day has been much more about celebrating his birthday than anything else. Whether single or dating, I always thought Valentine’s Day was an expensive Hallmark-brand hassle, so I thought this was a wonderful solution to my problem. So when we were discussing [...]

Whom Not to Marry

Dr. Christine B. Whelan — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:11:50 +0000

Calling all Pure Sex, Pure Love readers: I’m teaming up with one of the most famous priests in America to bring you the best dating and relationship advice. Want a piece of the action? Here’s the story: Last summer Maureen Dowd wrote a column titled “An Ideal Husband,” featuring love advice from Fr. Pat Connor, a [...]

So I Married a Heathen

Sara Thompson — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:00:38 +0000

I had to explain it to the priest as I stood fidgeting with my cell phone antenna. No, my fiancee isn’t Catholic or Jewish, and he wasn’t baptized. I resisted the urge to holler, “YES, I am marrying a FILTHY heathen neener neener!” The priest told me curtly that he could not perform the [...]