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Mary Beth Ellis :
41 article(s)

Mary Beth Ellis writes from Orlando, Florida.
May 18th, 2004
God Places a Bet at the Kentucky Derby
Smarty Jones, your 2004 Kentucky Derby champion, is God's Horse. Seabiscuit for the new milleniumYou see a horse like that and a story like this maybe once in a lifetime. Twice, if you've seen Seabiscuit. Smarty came ...
May 3rd, 2004
Does the Almighty Bend an Ear to Prayers for Smarty Jones?
With a victory in the Belmont Stakes on Saturday, June 5, 2004, Smarty Jones will have captured horseracing's most elusive prize—the Triple Crown. No horse has done it since ...
April 13th, 2004
Just Enough Comfort to Make Me Miss The Real Thing
Pop quiz, which is the biggest sin? A) Missing Mass on Easter Sunday B) Because you were out until five in the morning on Holy Saturday C) Hooking up with a person you'd known for under an hour ...
April 4th, 2004
Why Mars and the Moon Make Sense
I saw Mars last night, a tiny spark of crimson in an expanse of frosty black. It's tough to miss. First red planet to the right. I saw the moon too, half-crecented ...
April 2nd, 2004
Children Are Always Surprising
"It's a boy," my brother-in-law said with great shock as he stood before a roomful of nail-biting family members and friends. The stunned pandemonium that followed shook the desk ...
March 1st, 2004
14 Psychics, an Election, and the Virgin Mary's Dating Service
Crystal Ball v. Gore On the evening of the 2000 election, I sat before Judith Regan Live watching a psychic make a prediction about the outcome. "We won't know who won for a ...
January 10th, 2004
Not Just Like a Virgin
There are certain things one simply does not announce about oneself upon meeting a marriage-eligible member of the opposite sex. Such as: "I've refrained from sexual intercourse because my body is a Temple of the Holy ...
January 9th, 2004
A Cincinnati Native Takes Their Favorite Son to Task
In November of 2002, baseball's all-time hits leader had the following conversation with the commissioner of baseball, Bud Selig: "Yes, sir, I did bet on baseball," Pete Rose said during the meeting, ...
December 2nd, 2003
The Repercussions of Natal Timing
Hey, are you like me? You know?screwed? I am one of those poor unfortunate souls born in that ungodly space between Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King Day. Jesus picked a terrible birthday for Himself. If you love ...
October 31st, 2003
So I'm dumping the box of Halloween costumes out on the floor last night, and� there wasn't much there. I don't mean there wasn't a great deal to choose from--we're talking about fourteen year's worth ...
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